What the experts say about why men cheat

Okay, this subject is coming out a lot lately. Don't worry. I don't suspect my husband of cheating. I'm doing research for a book.

But, here's what I discovered. It turns out I was right about why men cheat. According to marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, men cheat to feel good about themselves. Interestingly enough, most men end up cheating with a woman that is less attractive than their wife.

On www.oprah.com, it is written: What's the number one reason men cheat? Ninety-two percent of men said it wasn't primarily about the sex. "The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures," Gary says. "Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."

With daily worries like bills, children and chores, Gary says it's easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should. Gary says the other woman often makes the man feel better about himself. "[She] makes them feel different. Makes them feel appreciated, admired," he says. "Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they're insecure like everybody else. They're searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued."

One aspect of Neuman's research shocked me. He says only 7% confess to cheating. In other words, if you suspect your man of cheating, you need to do some research and find out. HE'S NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.

Here are the signs Neuman lists that a man is cheating or about to cheat:

• He spends more time away from the house.
• You have less sex.
• He avoids contact.
• He does not answer his cell phone.
• He criticizes you more.
• He cannot stop talking about another woman.

Oprah really is the go-to site for anything a woman should know. If you want to read the full interview with Gary Neuman, go to www.oprah.com